Last night we agreed with friends, Betsy, Corey and their kids Lily and Jonathon to “live in community.” About two months ago, they spent a week in our house testing the waters. It was a trial run of sharing meals, letting the kids entertain each other, and working more from our strengths.

We took time individually sharing our highs and lows based on our experience from that week. We set a few ground rules and parameters for what we all hope will be a great experience.

Rule #1 - Transparency.
Just like in our conversation last night, we all said what we meant and meant what we said. That’s not always comfortable for me. I generally try to avoid conflict, but I put my feelings out on the table.

Rule #2 - Maintain Rule #1 and we can handle anything that comes at us.
I strongly believe that communication that hides, is also communication that hurts. I tend to let my introverted nature take hold. I share what I think are necessities and the other 95% stays in. Not a great way to build trust and community. It builds apprehension and separation as others feel like they don’t really know you. I’ve always sucked at this, especially in my family, but I’m trying to forge new relationships.

Transparency builds:

So, it really feels like it’s time to stop talking about living in community, and dive in head first. Hopefully we’ll rise to the top of Life Together.

He who loves his dream of community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial. –Bonhoeffer

BTW - if you haven’t read Life Together, I think you should. It’s in my top 5 of all time. Bonhoeffer is deeply challenging to the modern Christian.

Life Together

3 Responses to “Times 2”

1. Mark Meyer // Apr 18, 2008 at 10:29 am

   J-
   I can relate to your #2- I used to think that if I could process my frustrations internally and not communicate them, I was a better person… the reality is I “pent-up” stuff and over time would start rolling out towards those people… It was a big adjustment for me in our marriage-

   I think it’s great what you’re pressing into on the community bit- looking forward to future lessons and insights-

2. theschellers // Apr 18, 2008 at 10:52 am

   thanks mark…sounds like we’ve processed in the same way.

   community living should be an interesting endeavor.

3. Ariah Fine // Apr 21, 2008 at 8:03 am

   Looking forward to haring more about your journey in community.